needed {prose}

i needed to take a step back from everything. i cared, but i was young, and the young don't care. it didn't matter much what i saw, in all honesty. it could be terrifying, or fill me with disgust. but that wasn't true.  i needed someone to show me something beautiful. it meant so many different things to me, that i couldn't recognize any of it around me. it was everywhere. mostly.

i needed some of my hopes to come true. but i was young, and the young become old too quickly, and are too far gone to notice that they had everything. i wished i was delicate. i wished i could become a writer. i needed to find some sort of eternal genie for my sorrows, to be free of the weight that was pressed onto my shoulders. but all of my hopes lied around me, dropping at my feet one-by-one. by then i was looking too far up to realize.

i needed time to pass. i needed it to consume me. but i'm young, and getting less young every day. time has already consumed me. and maybe with time my name will change a few times, or i'll get a hideous tattoo that eventually fades, but at whatever point, time will always be there to pass me by. always was.

and you know, i didn't really need anything.