absent

so cold, willing the sun to burn away her skin,
and sink into her heart.

(she wanted, to remember
             every boy
                     she ever kissed.)

locked away in a world without solitude,
to never be alone on a lonely day.

(she wanted, to remember
             every boy
                     she ever kissed.)

close to him but a million miles away on the inside,
and the paint is cracking on her egg-shell-colored walls.

(she wanted, to remember
             every boy
                     she ever kissed.)

but everyone keeps pushing her away, and it's always before
their lips can
touch.

(she wanted, to remember
             every boy
                     she ever kissed.)

the sun and its fire need her, to consume
and capture in its warmth.

(she wanted, to forget
          every second
                     she ever wasted
               with them.)